The sun was barely up over the dusty stretch of I-80 when Drvrtech77 and Ridge, two rookie truckers, climbed into their rigs at the distribution center. Drvrtech77 had barely passed his CDL test after parallel parking into a dumpster, and Ridge still thought \u201cdouble-clutching\u201d was something you did at a dance party. Their boss, a grizzled man named Hank, handed them their manifests with a sigh. \u201cJust get the loads to Reno. No detours, no drama.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Drvrtech77\u2019s rig was loaded with frozen pizzas, and he figured the reefer unit\u2019s humming was optional. \u201cSaves fuel,\u201d he muttered, switching it off. By mile marker 50, the cab smelled like a microwave apocalypse, and a trail of melted cheese oozed out the trailer doors. He didn\u2019t notice\u2014his CB radio was blaring a conspiracy podcast about Bigfoot running the DOT.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ridge, meanwhile, was hauling a flatbed of unsecured lumber. He\u2019d seen tie-down straps in training but thought they were \u201csuggestions.\u201d Halfway up a steep grade, he hit the brakes too hard, and a cascade of 2x4s launched like spears onto the highway. A Prius swerved, a minivan honked, and Ridge waved cheerfully, oblivious to the chaos in his mirrors. \u201cRoad\u2019s gotta toughen up,\u201d he said to himself, cranking his outlaw country playlist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At a weigh station, Drvrtech77 misjudged the scale\u2019s edge and clipped it with his trailer, sending sparks flying and the attendant diving for cover. \u201cClose enough!\u201d he yelled, flooring it before anyone could flag him down. Ridge rolled in next, but he\u2019d forgotten to log his hours\u2014again. The inspector took one look at his scribbled logbook (featuring doodles of monster trucks) and shook his head. \u201cSon, this ain\u2019t a comic book.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
By some miracle, they reached Reno, though Drvrtech77\u2019s pizzas were now a biohazard, and Ridge\u2019s lumber was scattered across three counties. Hank was waiting, arms crossed. \u201cYou two are why I drink,\u201d he said, staring at the wreckage. Drvrtech77 grinned. \u201cTold ya we\u2019d make it.\u201d Ridge nodded. \u201cAnd we only hit, like, two things.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hank didn\u2019t fire them\u2014good drivers were hard to come by\u2014but he did sign up for night school to train replacements. Drvrtech77 and Ridge? They celebrated at a diner, arguing over who\u2019d win in a fight: Bigfoot or a Peterbilt. Couple of real retards. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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